Episode 44: Milk Ain’t Got Nothing on Nick Handley

February 24, 2011

Lisa Episodes , , , , , Leave a comment

Hey look at that. I’m updating the website FIVE days after the newest episode was posted! They would fire me, but then they’d lose their WBE status with California.


In the opening segment of episode 44, we discuss the electric slide, native americans, Nick’s rental cars, Nick’s phone going off in the middle of the show, Conan, and math games.


Alternately titled: Lisa Teaches You About Fantastic Four Against Your Will.

In this segment of episode 44, we discuss the Fantasticar, praying, Tibetan monks, the accident, Leech, James Bond, and Baum’s lack of caring.

I promise that, after this segment, I will shut up about the Fantastic Four for a while.

…

Okay not really. But I promise I’ll try.


In this segment, we discuss awesome websites, snorting bath salts, awkward silences, Kokomo, Humpty Dumpty, and Joseph Gordon Levitt.


In the final segment of episode 44, we discuss Red Bull, Baum’s facial hair, being in the Horde, mounts, low energy moments, and using a cantelope as a fleshlight.

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Remember kids: WE’RE DOING A LIVE SHOW ON MARCH 26TH! RSVP to it already! DO IT NOW!

Episode 43: I Learned Spanish From Bono

February 16, 2011

Lisa Episodes , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Believe it or not, folks, we here at Podtact have friends outside of the show. Listen as one of them joins us on this week’s episode!


In this episode, we welcome special guest Carl Entner, who is promoting his new, hilarious podcast, The Carl and Josh Show. We also discuss swinging at every pitch, flying to Maryland for a girl, Nick’s cherubic nature, and Facebook addicts.


In this very special segment of Podtact, featuring special guest Carl Entner of The Carl and Josh Show, we discuss Lisa’s tattoo, the Hulk with a handlebar mustache, Bat Dog, and the Podtactic Four. Listen close as the people I call my friends make light of the most tragic event of my comic book-reading life.

Nick claims to have unintentionally placed the song “Keep Yourself Alive” before this segment. His randomizer is more clever than he is.

And, no, Carl wasn’t kidding (as much as I would have liked him to be). For your enjoyment, and my embarrassment, here is The Human Torch Rap.

I hate the 90s.


In the third segment, featuring special guest Carl Entner of The Carl and Josh Show, we discuss paying for the chance to suck a dick, Austin Floyd, Pizza Hut, 4th amendments, and bandage.


In the final segment, featuring special guest Carl Entner of The Carl and Josh Show, we discuss Algebra, foreign languages, waffle and tuna melt night, light sabers, and Lisa’s cameo on Harbinger Von Doom (Another great podcast that you should be listening to).


Lisa’s appearance on the Carl and Josh show can be found here or by subscribing to The Carl and Josh Show on iTunes.  Do it.  We dare you.  Their logo alone should convince you.

If this doesn't convince you, nothing will.

Episode 42: Life, the Universe, and Everything

February 6, 2011

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And other geeky literature references.

In the opening segment of episode 42, we discuss talking over each other, dog cones, films from the 70s, mustaches, vegan cheese, and sending people to the corn field.

The aforementioned child.

Hulk Hogan the Terrorist

This is why I love the internet.


In this segment, we discuss Click, Hook, Geena Davis, Clock Stoppers, and (somehow yet again) Pokémon puns.

In this segment, we discuss boys clubs, The Rock, Marty Feldman, demonic energy, conservativeness, and Baum’s sugar daddy.

In the final segment of episode 42, Lisa yells at the internet regarding women and sports.  Nick, Jake, Baum and Liz guest star.

Lisa cheated on us with another podcast. That whore.

As you may or may not already know, Lisa loves comic books. She also loves talking about comic books.  So much so that she was fortunate enough to be invited onto her favorite comic book-themed podcast to grieve over the recent death of her favorite superhero: The Human Torch.  She even got free pancakes out of the whole deal.

If you also enjoy comic books, we here at Podtact highly recommend the gang over at Harbinger von Doom.  It is some seriously awesome shit.



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Episode 41: Abraham Lynxon

February 1, 2011

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Meet Baum’s new beau in the latest installment of your favorite podcast!


In the opening segment of episode 41, we discuss colorful mascots, Costa Rica, ebaum’s world, Wendy’s fries, Carl’s Jr, and inspiration.  Baum’s boyfriend Rob makes his Podtact debut, where we promptly tell him all the gross shit Baum has done.


In the second segment, we discuss creating robots, Facebook changes, zodiac signs, Baum’s pet rabbit, finals, and Gone in 60 Seconds.  Sometimes, recording episodes two weeks in advance has its disadvantages.


In the third segment, we discuss U2, hot chocolate, Reggie, flesh lights, cunt butter, and Play Station 2.  Surprisingly enough, the flesh lights and cunt butter have nothing to do with each other.


In the final segment, we discuss steak and a blow job day, people who don’t like blow jobs, Hallmark, music cards, walking around naked, and Ben Stein.  You won’t GUESS who had their friend walk naked in the room they were in.  Hint: It’s Baum.

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Don’t forget, kids, Podtact is going LIVE on March 26th at STAGEStheatre in Fullerton!  Join us for what is sure to be an amazing evening of improv comedy and debauchery.  Check out all the details and RSVP at the event page on Facebook here.

In Memoriam:

Rest in Peace, Johnny Storm.  You will be missed… but only by Lisa.

Episode 40: But Cancer is So Delicious

January 20, 2011

Lisa Episodes , , , , Leave a comment

Podtact reaches its 40th episode and we’ve only committed TWO arrestable offenses!  Go us!

In the opening segment of episode 40, we discuss the price of suicide, silver dollars, temp agencies, exercise, chocolate soy milk, and graham crackers.

In this segment, we discuss banned games, violence in video games, under cultures, God of War, Mortal Kombat, and copyrights.

In this segment, we discuss vasectomies, sperm donors, man boobs, side effects, baldness, and Baum’s dad’s annoying radio ads.

In the final segment of the evening, we give Baum a chance to redeem himself from the original Baum’s Titty Committee, and we give Lisa a chance to play along. We discuss Allison Brie, Adam Baldwin, Hugh Laurie, Eva Mendez, James Roday, and porn that looks like friends.  Listen as Lisa, for the first time, reveals her celebrity crush to the interwebs.  It’s probably not who you think it is.

Podtact is excited to announce that, on March 26th, we will be doing a LIVE podcast at STAGEStheatre after The Lobby show!  If you want to see us berate Baum in person, you should attend!  More details as we get closer to the show date.

Episode 39: Super Mario Brothers World

January 15, 2011

Lisa Episodes , , , Leave a comment

Ladies and germophobes, welcome to the official website of Podtact!  In an effort to expand the borders of Podtactia, we’re taking this dog-and-pony show to a blog.  Now you have no excuse to not listen to us every week, because we are going to be pimping the shit out of this.

Don’t like iTunes?  That’s cool.  We like you enough to post all four segments (via our Podomatic page) into one easy to listen to post.  Aren’t we just the nicest?

While listening to this week’s episode you should check out our shiny new bio page, located right above this here post.  When you’re done with that, click on all the shiny links in our sidebar.  They’re there for a reason.

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In the first segment of episode 39, we discuss Baum’s noises, floating, losing scarves, parent sex, VeggieTales, and small dicks.

In this segment, Nick and Jake relay their adventure of backpacking through the harsh wilds of California’s Pacific Crest Trail.  Wait, did I say adventure?  No… no I clearly meant misadventure.

In this segment, we discuss the savory sounds of Nick Handley’s sultry tongue, Goldeneye, Teddy Ruxpin, Sonic, and GameStop.

In the final segment of episode 39, we discuss the sniffles, Life is Beautiful, mutant powers, Super Mario Brothers World, dinosaurs, and pissing in public.

3 Reasons I Can’t Enjoy Comic Books

January 14, 2011

Nick Nick Leave a comment

So, I was jumping around on the internet this morning, (Damn you StumbleUpon) and I came to conclusion that one of the major reasons that I just can’t get into comic books is the extreme suspension of disbelief required to enjoy them.  Now, I’m not talking about stuff like Peter Parker getting bit by a radioactive spider gives him super powers instead of cancer and an infection.  I get that kind of stuff.  That’s the mythology that this stuff is founded on.  It’s fiction.  Obviously some element of suspension of disbelief is going to be required.  What bugs me, is when comic book writers take that to the extreme, and say, “Fuck you, readers.  We think you’re retarded and will go along with these bullshit things.”

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